Whatever It Takes
by Dazza1
Summary: Yaoi. 3x4. Two unknown loves are willing to give everything for the other. Will they reveal their feelings for each other before it's too late?


Author: Dazza Title: Whatever It Takes Pairing: 4+3/3+4 Category: Romance/Drama Labels/Warnings: songfic, angst, shounen-ai, OOC Rating: PG Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Gundam Wing. *sniffle sniffle*. Gundam Wing and its characters are property of Bandai, Sunrise, and other big companies with far more money than lil' ol' me. I'm just borrowing then for a bit. Making no $$ from this either. Don't sue. I'm just a poor student. Lemme check my pockets. nope no $$. Want some lint? Feedback: Yes! C&C not only craved, but begged for!  
  
Oh yeah! dialogue in "blah" Trowa's thoughts in //blah// Quatre's thoughts in ((blah)) Song lyrics in {blah} dream sequence *~*~*~*  
  
Okey-day! Now to the story.  
  
Whatever It Takes  
  
Moonlight streamed through the window, laying pale white light upon a peaceful face half covered by a fall of light brown hair. The face was relaxed in sleep, giving off an air of innocence and vulnerability. Across the small dorm room, a pair of sea green eyes peered through the darkness, studying the face of the sleeping boy in the opposite bed.  
  
Quatre yawned and turned on his side to better view the tall boy sleeping a few feet away. Quatre had been lying awake for some time, contemplating his stoic roommate. Most of his thoughts as of late had centered around the banged pilot. At first he hadn't recognized the new emotion that filled him each time he saw the quiet boy. The strange tingling sensation each time he would accidentally brush against him or the way his breath caught whenever their eyes met. It was something totally new, something he'd never experienced before: Love.  
  
Looking back now, he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that the friendship and admiration he felt for his fellow pilot had become something more. Perhaps it had been there since the beginning and he hadn't realized? Since the moment that suit had opened and he had met that penetrating forest green gaze. Regardless of when it had happened, it had happened all the same. Quatre had fallen and fallen hard. He knew how he felt now, but had no idea where to go from there.  
  
Quatre was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of a whimper emanating from the other bed. Looking across the room Quatre saw that the once peaceful expression had fled and was replaced by a look of pain and something else.fear? The other boy made a small, scared noise in the back of his throat and Quatre climbed out of bed and moved next to his. He reached out to gently shake the boy awake. "Trowa."  
  
{You're the bravest of hearts  
  
You're the strongest of souls}  
  
*~*~*~* "Trowa." He could hear a new voice calling to him, but he couldn't find it. He tossed his head from side to side, still running, running faster and faster. He had to get away. He could hear the captain crashing through the underbrush behind him, closer, closer. "Run!" his mind screamed, but it felt as though his body was weighted down, barely moving. And then a hand closed on his arm. *~*~*~*  
  
Trowa ripped himself from the nightmare with a scream. He shot straight up in bed, screaming again. He felt warm arms fold around him. "No!" he screamed silently, still caught in his fear. "Shhh, Trowa. It's all right. It was just a dream." Trowa finally threw off the remnants of the nightmare. "Quatre?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm here Trowa. You were dreaming." He felt Quatre's hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. Wait a minute! Quatre Raberba Winner was sitting on his bed, holding him in his arms?! Was he still dreaming? // That was the voice in my dream.//  
  
{You're my light in the dark  
  
You're the place I call home}  
  
Quatre let him go and straightened to sit next to him, their sides barely touching. "Was it a nightmare?" he asked, almost timidly. Trowa nodded. "Hm.a memory" he whispered, daring to look at Quatre. The blonde's eyes reflected compassion. "Was it bad?" Quatre asked quietly, knowing that sometimes it helped to talk about things. Trowa gave another nod. "I-I was back in the camp." Trowa closed his eyes. He hated to appear this weak. Especially in front of Quatre.  
  
He felt Quatre squeeze his hand. He had told the blonde about his past some time ago, after the nightmares had returned full force. He was the only person Trowa felt he could trust, his only.friend. "They're all dead Trowa. They can't hurt you ever again." Trowa remained silent. Quatre hugged him again. "Are you okay now?"  
  
{You can say it's all right  
  
But I know that you're breaking up inside I see it in your eyes}  
  
Trowa nodded, but when he raised his eyes, Quatre could see right through it. Quatre didn't know what to say. His heart screamed to just hold him and make the pain go away, but he didn't want to make Trowa feel vulnerable. He still didn't like seeing him hurting though. He loved him.  
  
{Even you face the night afraid and alone  
  
That's why I'll be there When the storm rises up When the shadows descend Every beat of my heart Every day without end}  
  
Of course, Trowa didn't know that, did he? Quatre desperately wanted to tell him; maybe then Trowa wouldn't feel so alone. But he couldn't bear the thought of Trowa hating him, being disgusted with him. Boys weren't supposed to love other boys. Trowa shifted and Quatre started to get up to go back to his own bed.  
  
{Every second I live  
  
That's the promise I make Baby that's what I'll give If that's what it takes}  
  
Trowa grabbed Quatre's arm, extremely unsure of himself. "Stay?" he asked, surprised at himself at having the courage to ask. He had like the blonde youth for some time and it felt so right to be in his arms. He could almost pretend he meant more to Quatre than just a friend. And beside, he didn't want to be alone anymore.  
  
{You can sleep in my arms  
  
You don't have to explain}  
  
Quatre smiled and climbed back on the bed, settling next to Trowa. Trowa tentatively put an arm around him, snuggling into his side and Quatre's smile grew wider. ((This feels so right)) was all he could think. Quatre brought his arms around Trowa and placed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. He immediately chastised himself for the impulsive act when Trowa let out a small gasp. Trowa's heart was racing. //Could this get anymore perfect?//  
  
{When your heart's crying out  
  
Baby, whisper my name}  
  
"Quatre?" He looked up at the small blonde. Quatre smiled sheepishly. "G- Gomen Trowa. I couldn't resist." ((Baka! What were you thinking?!)) "No, it's all right. It was.nice." Trowa tightened his arm around Quatre, trying to slow his erratic heartbeat. He wished it could always be like this. That he could have Quatre hold him other times, not just after a nightmare. But it couldn't be. He wasn't even sure if Quatre liked boys in general, let alone if he liked him specifically.  
  
{'Cause I've reached out for you  
  
When the thunder is crashing up above}  
  
Maybe he didn't like him that way. Yes, Quatre was his friend, but did he ever think about being more? Trowa had never really had a friend before. Maybe this was just how friendship felt. But Trowa didn't think that was it, that is was more. That he actually loved Quatre. Gods, it was all so confusing. He closed his eyes and sighed, hoping to fall asleep in the safety of that warm embrace.  
  
Quatre watched Trowa's eyes close and listened to his breathing. He gave a small sigh as well, placing another kiss on Trowa's head and stroking his fingers through the surprisingly soft hair of his bangs. " Trowa.I wish I could help you. Please, just let me try. Ai.ai shiteru Trowa. I just wish I could tell you." Gods, he could barely say it out loud when the boy was sleeping. How could he ever actually tell him? ((Coward)) he berated himself as he fell asleep.  
  
{You've given me your love  
  
When you smile like the sun That shines through the pain}  
  
As soon as he felt Quatre's breathing even out into the rhythm of sleep, Trowa opened his eyes. He stared in wide-eyed wonderment at the sleeping angel in his arms. //He loves me?!// Trowa couldn't believe the small pilot's confession. How has he, some nameless, no account, worthless soldier, ever gotten lucky enough to receive such a gift?  
  
Trowa held the other boy closer, daring to press a soft, whisper of a kiss to his shining golden hair. He made a promise to himself right then. //Whatever it takes Quatre, I will make myself worthy of your love.// Still amazed by the wonderful feeling he had from knowing Quatre loved him, Trowa drifted off to sleep. A sleep that, for once, was blissfully free of nightmares.  
  
{That's why I'll be there  
  
When the storm rises up}  
  
Trowa was snapped out of slumber by the sound of the door creaking open. He came awake in an instant to see Heero Yuy stalking quietly toward the bed. Heero raised a questioning eyebrow at the sight of Quatre in bed with him. Trowa ignored his unspoken question. "Mission?" he asked quietly. " Mission" Heero affirmed. "Briefing in my room. Ten minutes." That said, Heero turned and left.  
  
Trowa sighed as the door closed behind Heero and shifted his gaze to the blonde head resting on his chest. During the night they seemed to have switched places. Now Quatre was held in his arms, his golden head rising and falling with Trowa's breath. //So peaceful// he though, reluctant to wake him. But the mission.  
  
"Quatre." he shook him lightly. Quatre cracked open his eyes. "Mission" he said simply, moving to get out of bed. Quatre got up as well. They both dressed in silence and crept stealthily down the hall to Heero and Duo's room. Pausing briefly outside the door, Quatre reached out and gave Trowa's had squeeze. Trowa's heart soared at the contact, though he let none of his emotion reach his expression.  
  
{When the shadows descend  
  
Every beat of my heart Every day without end}  
  
Hours later, the five pilots were still locked in battle. The mission info had been bad and they were vastly outnumbered. Heero and Duo had managed the base infiltration, but both Shenlong and Sandrock had received major hits while providing their escape route. Deathscythe was down 80% in operations and Heero was doing his best to fight of the remaining suits in their quadrant alone. Wufei was at the northern end of the compound, readying to set off the blast that would destroy the base.  
  
{I will stand like a rock  
  
I will bend till I break}  
  
Trowa and Quatre were at the southeast and western sides, respectively, finishing off the rest of the ground suits. Trowa was almost out of ammo and still had two squads of Leo's closing in. Through the com link he could hear Duo's wild battle cries and Quatre's mild cursing. He knew Sandrock had sustained major damages and Quatre was having no better luck than he. If they could just hold out until Wufei destroyed the base.  
  
{Till there's no more to give  
  
If that's what it takes}  
  
That was it. Heavyarms was out of ammo.  
  
{I will risk everything  
  
I will fight I will bleed}  
  
"03 to 04. I'm out. It's done with Quatre." "Not yet Trowa." Quatre hissed in pain when his body snapped against the safety harness as Sandrock to another hit. He still had 10 surrounding Aries and twelve more incoming Leos. His scimitars were in operable. Heero and Duo were both engaged and Trowa was out of firepower. He still had one option though. He could take out all of his surrounding suits and half of those near Heero and Duo. All he had to do was press that little red button.  
  
{I will lay down my life  
  
If that's what you need}  
  
"I'm sorry Trowa" he whispered. Trowa caught the quiet words. "Quatre?" Quatre took a deep breath, switching off the vid link so Trowa wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. He hoped his voice didn't shake. "I love you Trowa. I always have. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. And I'll love you always.Goodbye Trowa" and he switched off his com link completely, turning to face the enemy suits. "Ai shiteru Trowa. Zutto." He pressed the button.  
  
{Every second I live  
  
That's the promise I make Baby that's what I'll give If that's what it takes}  
  
Trowa's heart seemed to stop completely. //He said it! He loves me! Wait! Goodbye?// Trowa turned Heavyarms to the western edge of the compound. Quatre's Gundam had begun to grow a faint red and was growing brighter. //No! Gods Quatre, no!// "Quatre! Quatre respond!" The com was silent. The light coming off Sandrock forced him to shield his eyes, even as he moved Heavyarms toward the west. And then the explosion rocked his cockpit.  
  
Trowa couldn't remember opening his eyes. He couldn't remember the base exploding moments later or Heero and Duo dispatching the remaining suits. The next thing he knew, he was crashing Heavyarms through the debris, racing toward Sandrock's last position.  
  
{Through the wind and the rain  
  
Through the smoke and the fire}  
  
Trowa spotted a flash of white off the remains of Sandrock's cockpit. Trowa jumped from his own suit, running through the scattered, twisted pieces of Leos, one thought echoing through his mind //Quatre// He kept repeating the name over and over like a mantra. He reached the cockpit, which was, by some miracle, for the most part intact. Trowa slammed his palm down on the hatch release, praying to any deity listening for the impossible. //Please be alive. Please let him be alive.//  
  
The hatch sprang back and Trowa sucked in a breath. Quatre's body was thrown against the safety harness, his arms and chest burnt through the flight suit, his golden hair matted with blood. Trowa scrambled inside, reaching to search for a pulse //Please be alive. Please.thank the Gods!// It was there! Thready, weak, but undeniably there.  
  
Releasing the harness straps, Trowa eased the blonde's broken body out of the pilot's seat. "Trowa?" His head snapped up to find Duo leaning into the cockpit, his violet eyes huge. "Hand him to us Trowa." That was Heero's voice. Trowa did so, loathe to let his angel go. Duo and Heero gently raised Quatre's inert form from the cockpit. Trowa climbed out quickly, watching Heero as he checked his loves injuries, feeling utterly useless. //You can't die yet Quatre! I didn't get a chance to tell you!// " We have to get him to Sally" said Heero  
  
{When the fear rises up  
  
When the waves ever higher}  
  
"I'll take him." Trowa gingerly gathered Quatre's body in his arms again. With Duo's help he got them both into Heavyarms cockpit. The ride back to the Winner estate was an eternity marked only by Quatre's shallow breathing and Trowa's prayers. Trowa had never prayed before, had never had any sort of faith, but he strove to find faith now. //I will give anything. Just let him live.//  
  
As soon as they landed, Rashid and Sally took the Arabian boy from him, rushing off to the estate's medical ward. Trowa still sat in Heavyarms cockpit, staring at Quatre's blood staining his hands and clothes. //He can't die.// Trowa was still frozen in place there when Heero, Duo, and Wufei landed.  
  
Duo climbed up into his cockpit and put his arms around the taller pilot, feeling the tremors running through his body. "Let's go inside Trowa." The taller pilot raised his eyes and Duo almost took a step back at the sheer desperation reflected in that green gaze. "He can't die Duo." "He won't die Trowa. Come one, let's go inside."  
  
"He can't die! He can't!" Trowa's voice took on an almost hysterical note at the last part. Duo was scared. He had never seen the European pilot lose control before. He was always calm, impassive, expressionless. He had never revealed so much emotion. No to them at least. "He can't die!" Trowa was nearly screaming now. Wufei took Trowa from him, delivering a precise hit to his neck, and catching him as he slipped into unconsciousness. Duo and Heero gave him a look. "He was getting hysterical." They made no reply. "Come on, let's get him inside."  
  
When Trowa woke up four hours later, he was confused. He was back in his room. How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was going on the mission.the mission! //Quatre!// He bolted down the hallway, skidded to a halt at the door to the med ward, where Heero, Duo, and Wufei stood. "Where is Quatre?" he asked, his voice strained. "First door on the left" Heero replied as he and Duo stepped aside. Wufei still remained. Trowa sent him a death glare worthy of Heero. "I'll deal with you later" he snapped, as he pushed his way past him, only to be stopped on the other side of the door by Sally.  
  
"How's is he?" he asked her, trying desperately to keep his voice flat, while inside he was dying. //Please tell me he'll live. Please.// Sally sensed the tension rolling off of him and pulled him into a hug, surprising the usually unemotional boy. "He's going to make it Trowa," she said, still hugging him. Trowa let out the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding and hugged her back. "He's injuries were severe, but he'll live. He's a fighter Trowa." Trowa nodded, trying to find his voice again. "Ca-can I see him?" "Yes. But just for a bit. We don't expect him to wake any time soon and you need rest too." Trowa just nodded, already moving into the room.  
  
{I will lay down my heart  
  
My body, my soul}  
  
His heart clenched at the sight of his angel. He looked so small, so fragile, lying there. There were tubes and wires all over his body. His chest was wrapped in bandages, as were his arms. His leg was casted and his beautiful face was marred with bright red scratches and ugly purple bruises. The wound to his temple had been cleaned and dressed. Gods, he didn't look like his Quatre. Trowa could barely breath; standing there listening to the beeping of the machines attached to his love.  
  
He quietly walked over to the bed, kneeling beside it to gently take one the blonde's hands in his own. He could feel himself shaking and a strange wetness plagued his eyes. He was.crying? "Oh Quatre" he whispered. He moved his other hand and placed it lightly on the boy's bandaged chest, reassuring himself with the steady rise and fall of his breath. He had been so afraid. What if he had died? He never would have been able to tell him.how much he loved him.  
  
"I'm so sorry Quatre" he whispered. "I-I couldn't tell you. I could say the words. And then when you-you.I thought I'd lost my chance to ever say it." He rubbed the back of Quatre's hand. Did his eyelids just twitch? It must be wishful thinking. "I though I'd lost you for good. I wanted desperately to tell you, buy I didn't know how. I couldn't find the right words. I have them now." He laid his head down near the blonde's hand. "Then tell me now." It was barely even a whisper. Trowa's head snapped up. "Quatre?!" The blonde squeezed his fingers around his hand and struggled to crack his eyes open a bit. "Tell me now" he repeated, voice barely even heard despite the silence of the room. Trowa squeezed his hand back, his heart nearly bursting with the relief flooding through it. " I love you, Quatre."  
  
The sides of Quatre's mouth quirked up slightly in an attempt to smile. He was so tired. He let his eyes fall shut again. "Hold me?" he rasped. His throat hurt too. Heck, his entire body felt like it was on fire. Especially his heart. But that was for a different reason. Trowa loved him back! He couldn't recall ever being so happy.  
  
{I will hold on all night  
  
And never let go}  
  
Trowa climbed up onto the bed, maneuvering through the various wires and tubes attached to his beloved's body, and carefully wrapped his arms around the blonde. He wanted nothing more than to hold him as close as possible, but didn't want to aggravate his injuries. Quatre gave another attempted smile as he felt Trowa's strong arms wrap around him. "Luv y'too" he whispered, snuggling into his love's warm body as much as he could.  
  
{Every second I live  
  
That's the promise I make Baby that's what I'll give If that's what it takes}  
  
Trowa smiled, his first real smile he could remember and pressed a light kiss to Quatre's lips. As the Arabian boy slipped back into sleep, he sighed. It had taken so much, too much, for him to realize what he stood to lose. Quatre was his life, his world, and he had almost lost that without the blonde ever knowing he cared. Never again. He resolved right then to make sure he always knew how much Trowa loved him. To cherish the gift that he had been given. They would find a way to survive this war and spend the rest of their lives together. For once, Trowa found himself looking towards the future instead of the past. And the future had never looked brighter. Trowa tightened his arms about the other boy just a bit and closed his eyes, joining his love in slumber and dreaming of their future. Together.  
  
{I'll love you all night long  
  
And never let go I promise Whatever it takes}  
  
Owari 


End file.
